Well, Rosie O'Donnell was on the Today show this morning and once again we're treating a load of Rosie O'Donnell bullshit that we've all come to know and love. You just have to ask yourself, does she actually believe all the nonsense that spews out of her mouth like a fractured sewage pipe, or does she deliberately lie through her teeth?

The whole issue began, apparently, when it was discovered that her child's bodyguard had applied for a permit to carry a handgun. People accused her of being a hypocrite and it seems the Connecticut police searched her bodyguard outside of the child's daycare center, looking for a gun but not finding one. Of course she blamed this on the gun lobby, because we all know that the NRA is a shadowy front for the government (especially in gun-loving New England... heh).

She then launched right into the usual anti-gun rhetoric. "Guns are completely unregulated," she exclaims, and yet here I sit, staring at a 330 page book that covers only Federal gun laws, not state, city or local ordinances. Unregulated? I don't think so! She then says that guns can hold as many clips as the makers want. She actually said that! What the hell does that mean? How many guns do you know of that hold more than one magazine?

From there, we enter her licensing and registration schemes. "We don't want to take anyone's guns away," she promises. This, keep in mind, is the same woman who said on her show, "I honestly think - and I am not an expert on the amendments - I think the only people in this nation who should be allowed to own guns are police officers. I don't care if you want to hunt, I don't care if you think it's your right. I say 'sorry'. It is 1999, we have had enough as a nation. You are not allowed to own a gun and if you do own a gun, I think you should go to prison."

Don't want to take them away, huh? Don't buy it. Rosie still wants to disarm America, but she's been taken aside by Sarah Brady, Hillary Clinton, and the organizers of the Million Mom March and had it explained to her that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. They all have the exact same rhetoric of "13 children killed each day" (notice how it went up from their often repeated number of 12 even though murder rates are falling?), they don't want to take guns away, and licenses and registration will promote "safety". Safety? Barely over 1,000 people each year are killed in firearm accidents. Less than 150 of them are age 14 or younger. Over 95% of gun deaths are caused by deliberate and intentional actions. Why in the world would anyone believe for an instant that licenses and registration will make even a dent in the numbers of gun murders and suicides? What criminal is going to register his illegal gun? How are licenses going to prevent black market gun purchases? Do you think anyone willing to commit murder is going to worry about a pesky law requiring gun registration?

Rosie O'Donnell, do you know why cars are registered? So the government can levy property tax against them. Do you know why drivers are licensed? Because even with all that licensing and driver's education, over 40,000 people are killed each year (43,649 in 1996) in motor vehicle accidents. Compare that to the 1,134 killed in firearm accidents in the same year... that's a ratio of 38.5 to 1. Car accidents kill almost 40 times as many people as gun accidents. While I strongly support gun education, those numbers aren't even on the same page. Any comparisons between them are ludicrous.

What does it all mean? This has nothing to do with the prevention of accidents. Do we honestly expect Rosie and her compatriots to simply stop their crusade after registration and licensing accomplish nothing at all? The "13 children a day" aren't killed in accidents... I can't even tell where that number comes from. The CDC's National Center for Health Statistics groups their numbers in the age ranges of "5-14" (605 gun deaths a year) and "15-24" (6,766 gun deaths a year). How old are the children included in this "13 a day"? Why aren't we hearing about them on the evening news? Every time a child is shot they plaster it all over the 6 and 11 o'clock news. I don't hear 13 child-murder stories a night. And mind you, these are the same news agencies that just love to give press to Handgun Control Inc. and lob softball questions at Bill Clinton while vilifying anyone who every touched a gun in their life. Maybe because if they were reported, we'd discover that these "children" are in reality 18, 19, and 20 years old, as well as being violent criminals and gang members themselves.

And, of course, Rosie can't end the interview without spreading the biggest and favorite myth of her and her friends: "The Supreme Court has continually upheld that the Second Amendment applies to a well-regulated militia, not individuals". Well, if it's continually, then you shouldn't have any trouble telling us the exact court cases involved, should you, Rosie? I'd sure love to hear what they were and the decisions that were made. Because I've looked, Rosie, and those decisions that you quote don't exist. I mean, come on, it's not a hard thing to point to case and read the decision. These cases are part of public record. If they say what Rosie claims, why haven't we heard them? Why aren't they plastered all over Handgun Control Inc.'s website? Why isn't Rosie O'Donnell quoting them in her television interviews? Maybe it's because they don't exist? Maybe it's because the militia is in fact comprised of private citizens, as defined in U.S. Code Title 10 Section 311.

The whole reason I write these long articles is not to win an argument, but to inform and educate anyone who happens to read them. While gun control advocates throw out numbers, I probe into the actual government provided statistics. While they "summarize" laws and court decisions, I read the exact texts of both. What I'm saying is that the truth is not hidden. Any person willing to do their own research on the subject will find out on their own that gun control is made palatable to public consumption by a swirl of lies and misleading statements. Unfortunately, most people would rather listen to a 10 second soundbite than investigate the truth.

The styrofoam cups you get at my company's cafeteria are so porous that your drink actually bleeds through the sides of the cup after several minutes. I have to take a napkin and wipe off the sides after a while. I mean, can you imagine what kind of company would manufacture drinks that can't even hold water?

Headline: New York City Official Accused Of Possessing Animal-Level Intelligence

Cary, NC (RPS) -- Outspoken critic and editorialist Quintin Stone blasted New York City Public Advocate Mark Green for comments that the deranged city official made in relation to the NRA's Eddie Eagle program. Despite the fact that the cartoonish mascot only tells children if they see a gun to "STOP! Don't touch! Leave the area! Tell an adult!", Mark Green (not the popular ER character on NBC) vehemently attacked the video. "I think they [the members of the NRA] are morally and legally responsible for thousands of deaths a year, in a sense, in our city and our country, and they should not be anywhere near our kids talking about guns."

"I mean, what a fucking idiot," Mr. Stone responded when he heard this quote. "It's bad enough that he starts out by putting forth a legal supposition that is almost laughable in its absurdity, but then he goes on to suggest that children should exist in some kind of informational void. He epitomizes the ignorant and dangerous idea that what we don't know can't hurt us. Even rabid dogs have more sense than that."

Quintin Stone's comments were posted to his personal website soon after he'd read the original CCN article that contained Mark Green's remark. "I mean, this is the kind of mindless simpleton that attacks a rational attempt to keep children safe because he doesn't like the source. It's politics in its ugliest form. My guess is that this guy would try to ban seatbelts if he discovered that Hitler wore them. Guess what: he probably did. Better get cracking!"

Noted internet personality and No-bell Prize winner Bad Mojo had this to say: "The video tells young kids not to touch guns. Apparently Mark Green wants to tell children that they should pick up and play with a loaded gun if they see one. I'd like to castrate him with a pair of vice-lock pliers. That ought to take him out of the gene pool."

New York City Public Advocate supplied no comment, as he was not asked to.

I must say, this is a pleasant surprise. I've always like Bruce Willis, but my respect for him grew considerably when I read this:

"Everyone has a right to bear arms." he says in an interview. "If you take guns away from legal gun owners, then the only people who have guns are the bad guys."

This just occurred to me: is it just coincidence that the two big names with recurring roles on Friends (Tom Selleck was Monica's long-time boyfriend and Bruce Willis will make his first of many appearances this Thursday) are both pro-gun? I doubt there's any real connection, it just struck me as a little odd.