Lessons on life that I've learned from Grand Theft Auto III:

• When you crash into people, they don't stop and ask to swap insurance information. Mostly they just yell at you and keep on driving.
• Cops don't mind if you only crash into their car a few times. They're very forgiving.
• No matter how fast you're going, crashing into a wall just once isn't going to total your car. What a relief!
• Cars are always drivable even while on fire... until they explode.
• Cops are the only people that keep their doors locked.
• However, when a cop leaves his car, he unlocks all the doors.
• It doesn't matter how many times you roll the car or from what height your car drops... you'll never get hurt. In fact, the car is the safest place to be, unless it's on fire or sinking into the water.
• Guns can often be found on the roofs of buildings.
• No matter how many people you kill, painting your car a different color completely exonerates you.
• Common every-day citizens have no problem confronting a lunatic with a rocket launcher. However if you swing a bat at them, they run away in mortal terror.

Good news for democracy is the recent reversal of trends in Central and South America. No longer are nations in these countries ignoring the totalitarian nature of Castro's Communist regime in Cuba. Instead, they are finally starting to condemn it for the despotic, anti-freedom dictatorship that it is. And I say, it's about time. America's own left has consistently turned a blind eye to the island nation's abysmal record on basic human rights. Apparently the most trivial desires of al Qaeda and Taliban members need to be protected while the fundamental rights of Cuban citizens can simply be ignored. It's disgusting and hypocritical the way that the American left cozies up to Communist tyrant like Castro, all the while screaming for civil equality everywhere else.

I used to enjoy watching Michael Moore's "TV Nation" while it was still on the air. I really don't remember all that much about it, though, except that it was funny. So I don't know if his journey into the far-left happened relatively recently or a long time back. However, what I do know is that he is deeply delusional.

While on the Today show, pimping his new book "Stupid White Men" that blames everything wrong with America on big business, he insisted that his far-left perspectives on environment, business, and gun control put him "in the majority". Again and again he insisted on it. But what does he base this on? The fact that his book is now #1 on whatever list they were looking at? Well, with a title like that, of course people are going to want to read it. "Bias", the book in the #1 spot before Moore's, discusses the liberal slant in major news outlets. Does that mean Conservatives were the "majority" a week ago, but now they aren't? Or does Moore base it on the fact that Al Gore got slightly more votes nationwide than Bush did? This still doesn't reflect anything to do with Moore's politics, since the votes only tell us who people wanted for President... a year and a half ago. Can a conservative claim to be in the mainstream majority because George W. Bush's approval rating is so extremely high right now? Not if you ask Michael Moore, who spent the whole interview badmouthing Bush and yet not mentioning any specifics. I kept expecting him to suddenly start shaking in anger and yell out, "Grrrrr, I hate that Bush!" I'd swear he was inches from that line several times during the interview. Does Moore base it on the fact that the Senate is run by Democrats? Considering that people actually elected a Republican majority Senate before Jim Jeffords switched sides, that probably not the best evidence to support this ficticious "left-wing majority". You'll also notice that the House of Representatives, generally a better indicator of overall political trends because of its population-based representation, has a Republican majority.

Okay, to sum up: Michael Moore = delusional. Politics = no one is a real "majority". You have centrists, you have moderates, you have the firmly entrenched, and you have extremists. For any one group to insist that they represent any kind of "majority" among the American people is just plain laughable.

And not in the good, humorous way that "TV Nation" used to be laughable.

There are two major sticking points to Unreal Tournament's base engine:

1. No ladders or climbable surfaces of any kind. What modern FPS doesn't have ladders for crying out loud? It simply boggles the mind. I have no idea what prompted them to leave this out, but let's just hope they don't make the same crazy mistake in Unreal 2 or Unreal Tournament 2.
2. Crouching doesn't change your height. Huh, are you serious? Yes I am. You can't make a map for UT that has a place only accessible through crouching. Any place you can crouch you also have to be able to walk upright in. This is another one of those bizarre decisions that makes you stop and just kind jiggle your head around in shock and confusion.

Maybe it's a good thing that I never got that job at Epic.