[Laboratory of Dr. Weird] [South Jersey Shore] Dr. Weird: Gentlemen, behold! Are you ready to rock? Assistant: Uh, uh, uh, I'm ready to rock. Dr. Weird: Then I'm gonna blow your hair to the back of this auditorium! 1... 2... 3... 4.... This one's called Robot Affliction. Yeah! [INTRO] Ignignot: Hello, Carl, I am Ignignot and this is Err. Err: I am Err. Ignignot: We are Mooninites from the inner core of the moon. Err: You said it right! Ignignot: Our race is hundreds of years beyond yours. Err: Man, do you hear what he's saying? Ignignot: Some would say that the Earth is our moon. Err: WE'RE the moon. Ignignot: But that would belittle the name of our moon. Which is: The Moon. Err: Point is, we're at the center. Not you. Carl: No, the real point is, I don't give a damn. Ignignot: Is your ego satisfied? Err: Damn no. Ignignot: No. Err: Look, room for rent. Ignignot: Yes, room for rent. [Inside] Meatwad: Room for rent? Shake: Look, Meatwad, sometimes you have to rent a room instead of work. Meatwad: Well, whose room's gonna be rented is my question. Shake: Your room. Meatwad: No kiddin'. Shake: Look, it's just until this ear infection clears up. Then I'll be able to go back to work again. Meatwad: Yeah right. I don't see no ears. Shake: Well you are about not to have a mouth. And I mean it. I'll rip it off. Shake: Hello. Ignignot: Hello, I am Ignignot and this is Err. Err: Give us the damn room. Shake: What are your references. Shake: Woo. Okay, that'll do. Let me show you where you'll be staying then. Shake: In here with the grill. And if you want it turned down, you'll have to start a fight with this little mutant guy right here. Meatwad: It's where I sleep! Err: Not any more! Shake: Now I'll, ah, need a deposit. Yeah, I, I've seen that. The glowing, it's great. I'm thinking more money wise? Ignignot: Then how does this... jambox suit you? Meatwad: Wait a second? Shake: Bass... treble... Meatwad: That's mine! Shake: Antenna... yes, I think we can make a deal here. Meatwad: That's my jambox! Ignignot: Your jambox is now his. By way of our actions. Shake: Yes, Meatwad. With actions. Meatwad: Actions? Shake: Now look, you guys. If you need anything, just feel free to yell at HIM until he gets it for you. Meatwad: He's always messing with me. Err: Shoot him the bird! Ignignot: Yes, give him the finger. Meatwad: The finger? Like this? Ignignot: No, not at all like that. Meatwad: What about this? Ignignot: Here... here, let me show you. Err, hand out the free cigarettes. Err: We smoke as we shoot the bird! Frylock: Shake! Have you seen my towel? Shake: Just use a paper towel. Frylock: I'm taking a bath. Shake: They're right in the kitchen, just go get em! Err: Man, that pool is bitchin! Ignignot: Where shall I place this wet primitive Earth towel? Shake: Drape it on Frylock's computer, that thing heats up pretty good. Frylock: Who is that with my towel? Shake: Oh, that's Ignignot. Yeah, him and Err are rentin' that room down there. Frylock: You mean Meatwad's room? Do not drape that on my computer! Err: I'm gonna! Shake: Well where do you expect them to put it?! They don't have anything! They're from the moon! Frylock: You rented that room to moon people? Ignignot: We are the Mooninites and our culture is advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain. Frylock: Oh, is that so? And what's so advanced about it? Ignignot: Well, for one thing, the moon has 1/3 less gravity than your Earth. I don't know if you can understand that, but.... our vertical leap is beyond all measurement. Frylock: So what you're saying is that your culture is more advanced because you can jump higher? Ignignot: Yes, observe. Ignignot: It's... it's not working here. Err, Come in here! Help me explain our advanced ways! Hurry! Err: Did you mention the spelling? Ignignot: Yes! We're excellent spellers. Challenge me. Err: Challenge us both! Shake: Frylock, don't try to understand them. They're beyond everything. Isn't that right, Eggnot? Ignignot: All that we say and do is right. Frylock: Sounds like you got yourselves a real couple of winners there, Shake. Ignignot: Heh, you and your... third dimension. Frylock: What about it? Ignignot: Oh, nothing, it's cute. We have five. (Pause) Err: Th-thousand. Ignignot: Yes, five thousand. Err: Don't question it! Frylock: Oh yeah? Well I only see two. Ignignot: Well that sounds like a personal problem. Meatwad: Someone hook me up with a flame. I'm having a nic fit. Ignignot: Err, light him up. Frylock: Meatwad! Err: Here. Ignignot: Encourage him in his habit. Err: That's a good smoker. Frylock: When did you start smoking?! Meatwad: This morning. Now where's my whiskey? I'm gonna get tore up! Ignignot: We shall acquire some wine on the way to the mall. Err: And then you can get tore up. Ignignot: And pass out in the hot sun. Meatwad: That's my boys! Frylock: I don't think Meatwad should be hanging around with these moon people. Shake: I don't think I need to be playing with these medium gauge strings. I need light gauge if I'm gonna thrash. Frylock: Where'd you get that? Shake: Ignignot and Err. They are the most generous people I have ever known. [Mall] Ignignot: Pick up that stereo and sink it deep within your body. Meatwad: But then that would be stealing! Err: Not if you need it. And you need it! Ignignot: On the moon, Meatwad... Err: So go get it! Ignignot: ...we have advanced beyond rules. And manners. Err: Indeed. Ignignot: Do you understand? Meatwad: Uh, ye... ye... no. Ignignot: I will spit in your face now. Err: Prepare to spit. [Spitting] Err: Now do you understand? Meatwad: Y... yes? Ignignot: Good. Now wrap yourself around that rack of DVDs. Err: Smoke up! Ignignot: Smoke while you are doing so. Meatwad: Uh oh. Wait, I'm stuck! Err: We must go spread our advanced technologies. Ignignot: Yes, move out. Err: Yes, move out. Ignignot: Quickly. Err: Let's go. [Home] Shake: He's in jail? Frylock: Jail? Shake: Hoo, let him rot. Frylock: Who? Meatwad? Shake: Oh wait, he already has. Oh, you'll find that out soon enough. Frylock: Gimme that! Shake: What? Frylock: Don't throw him away. He's a living thing. I'll be right there. Ignignot: Using a key to gouge expletives on another's vehicle is a sign of trust... and friendship. Carl: Who did this to my freakin' car?! Ignignot: We are not here. We will be in the computer room. Err: Come on. Frylock: What happened to Meatwad? You guys were with him last. Err: He got busted, man. Ignignot: For stealing and drinking and smoking in a non-smoking area. Err: It's true. Frylock: Shake, we need to go get him. Shake: Look, I would love to help you out, but... you go get him. Frylock: I'll deal with you guys later. Ignignot: Your roommate is a nerd. Err: Yes. On the moon, nerds get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with moon rocks. Shake: Man. You guys sure talk a lot about the moon. Ignignot: Yes. Err: You got a problem with that? Shake: C'mon, let's go swimming. [Outside] Meatwad: Look, Err gave me a tattoo. 'Fore the man put me on ice. It's tough, isn't it? Frylock: Yeah. Yeah, that's really tough, Meatwad. Meatwad: It's a clown, and it symbolizes street warfare. See, I'm part of the clowns now, you dig? Frylock: Look, Meatwad, you're a detective. You're sworn to uphold the law. Meatwad: Whose law? Your law or mine, joker? Hey, where's my running crew? Yoo hoo, running crew? [Pool] Shake: 20 seconds! That's a new world record! Right? Huh? Oh. Ignignot: 23 seconds. Err: That is the new MOON record. Ignignot: Then it shall be so. Err: Now and forever. Carl: New moon record. That's funny. Shake: Hey, Carl. Carl: So maybe you'd be a good person to ask who wrote "The moon rules #1" on my car with a key? Shake: Whoa whoa whoa! Ignignot: If you have a problem with that, maybe you should take it up with Mister Laser. Err: Yeah, Mister Laser! Ignignot: Here it comes. Err: Here it comes! Ignignot: You will be destroyed. Err: You're going down. Ignignot: The explosion will be of extraordinary magnitude. Ignignot: Just hang on. Err: It takes a while. Carl: Nice shot there, breakout. Now I want you jokers out of this-- OH GOD MY BACK! Shake: Wow! Nice job! That guy is so annoying. He always struts around like he owns the place. Frylock: Because he does own it. Shake: Frylock! What are you doing... here. Frylock: I need to speak with Ignignot and Err here. Ignignot: Then you shall speak to us as we watch television. [Inside] Frylock: And you've been stealing and and corrupting Meatwad and... and he went to jail and I can't get the smell of smoke out of my drapes and I just want you out of this house now! Ignignot: This is a good movie. Shake: Yeah, he's vegetable man. Frylock: Were you even listening to me? Ignignot: We don't listen to people who don't like us. Frylock: Well maybe you'll listen to this. Shake: What have you done?! Ignignot: What was that? Err: Whoa, did those just come out of your eyes? Ignignot: They're primitive. Err: Damn, those are fast, man! Ignignot: We are not impressed. Err: Hey, wasn't that cool. Shake: Err, get the other one. Err: The plasma screen or the hi-def? Shake: The plasma screen. Frylock: No! No, don't go get the other one! Because it's stolen. Just like the guitar, and the jambox, and everything in that big pile over there. Err: Then we shall take it outside. Frylock: Oh, oh, that's fine. We'll go outside, c'mon, let's go right now. Shake: Yeah, cuz I don't want any of this stuff smashed. It's new and expensive. Err: I'm gonna wring your pants. [Outside] Err: AH! Let go of us! Ignignot: This is a hot road. Meatwad: Frylock, wait! Why you beatin' up on my posse? Frylock: Meatwad, your "posse" went swimming while they left you in jail. Meatwad: But they told me how to get rid of a hangover and how to make a shiv out of a bedpost and Err made me wallow in an ant pile. Frylock: What kind of a friend would do those things to you? Meatwad: Those friends, right over there. You guys wouldn't do anything to hurt me, right? OW! Ignignot: We do whatever we want to whomever we want at all times. Mooninites, unite! Err: Lock in! Ignignot: No one can defeat the Quad Laser. Err: It is over now. Ignignot: The bullet is enormous, there is no escaping. Err: Jumping... is useless. Shake: Hey, do you guys know how to work this TV? I tried the button, but... it doesn't go. Err: Go BACK INSIDE! Shake: Oh... you guys are fighting. Err: We're FIGHTING! Shake: Right. Frylock: Okay, Mooninites... Looks like I gotta little moon beam of my own. Ignignot: Well show us the moon beam, I would love to-- Ignignot and Err: AAHHHHH!!! Ignignot: Ship come in! Err: Hurry! Ignignot: Let us leave this primitive rock because there's nothing but cavemen here. Err: Say goodbye, caveman! Go beat rocks together, you s-- Ignignot: Ship take off! Err: Freakin' nerds! Ignignot: Nerds! [On ship] Ignignot: I hope he can see this because I'm doing this as hard as I can. [Pool] Shake: Look, Frylock, you know me. Had I known that merchandise had been broken, I would've laid the hammer down. But it was stolen. Frylock: So you returned it, right? Shake: No. I've decided to keep it all... as a reminder of how lucky I am to live on a planet with people like you. Meatwad: Hey, what happened to Carl? [Moon] Carl: Ohhh, boy. This is what I've always wanted. Err: Silence, nerd! Ignignot: Prepare for a moon spanking. Err: Now you drop those sweatpants right now!